The Count's World, Episode 5 Hearts over XNauts
by The Great Allie
Summary: Two X-Nauts have joined Count Bleck's ranks, and quickly find out that it's not quite what they hoped it would be, what with the... unique style of the minions.
1. 5 dash 1

_It's actually fitting, though not planned out, that this story should be published in the middle of Autism Awareness Month, which takes place in April where I'm from. As mentioned I think in Episode 3, Gary the X-Naut is autistic._

_In other news, this episode is actually inspired by an episode of the Care Bears from the Nelvana series. I probably should have mentioned this before, but I'll do just about anything to work in a Care Bear or Disney World reference… You're gonna have to trust me on this one, K? Super. Okay, let's go!_

* * *

EPISODE 5-1

"Yeah, so, I'd like to thank you all for coming to our new-minion orientation," said Nastasia. "I'd also like to thank Mr. L for coming into the office on such short notice."

"Not a problem," said Mr. L from his usual perch in the meeting room.

Count Bleck looked over his minions from his post in their meeting room. O'Chunks, Mimi, and Dimentio were also standing at attention in their respective spots, looking up at him uneasily. Nastasia was by his side, as was Tippi and the Beige Prognosticus. The only difference between this meeting an all the others were the two X-Nauts, sharing a stand behind O'Chunks and Dimentio, a little higher than one and a little lower than the other. That was difference enough to unsettle them, in a place where everything was usually the same.

Sherwood and Gary had arrived the afternoon before and Nastasia had introduced them to the castle and talked with them about what their job would be. Now they were meeting the other minions and getting their first assignment with them.

"As you all know," said Count Bleck importantly, "we have two new minions among our ranks, starting today. Sherwood and Gary come from the X-Naut army, which has been waning as a force since the episode with the Thousand-Year Door. Why don't you introduce yourselves to us? Sherwood, have you anything to say?"

"Uh, yeah," said Sherwood. "Hi. I've been an X-Naut for… um, a really long time, and I'm looking forward to a change. Um, you know, I wanna do stuff again. My group was moved to a station near Fahr Outpost right after Grodus fell, and we've been just… kind hanging around ever since…" He rubbed the back of his head. "Um, I guess that's it."

"What about the other one?" asked Dimentio?

"This is Gary," said Sherwood. "Gary is autistic. He doesn't really talk, but he _does_ communicate and he loves to work."

Gary looked down at his feet quickly.

"He knows we're talking about him," said Sherwood. "Gary doesn't like changes, so you're going to have to bear with him."

"So, what, is he retarded or something?" Mimi asked skeptically.

"Uh, no," Sherwood said defensively. "Chances are he's smarter than you are, missy."

"That's not really saying much about Gary," Dimentio said with a chuckle.

"Count Bleeeeeck!" Mimi whined. "Dimentio's making fun of me!'

Count Bleck held out his arms. "Everybody quiet down!" he shouted. When Count Bleck shouted, he didn't really shout in the normal sense of the term. He raised his voice so loud it rattled the floor, and it seemed to suck every other noise out of the room. When Count Bleck shouted, you shut up, end of story.

Gary clapped his hands over his ears and started making a strange whining noise. Sherwood adjusted his goggles.

"Uh, wow," said Sherwood. "That, um, that was some yell." He turned to Mimi. "Hey, uh, Ms. Green? Uh, I'm sorry I was rude to you."

"Dimentio, do you have something to say as well?" asked Count Bleck.

"Yes." Dimentio hung his head in mock shame. "I'm sorry I took advantage of such an easy opening. That sort of thing is supposed to be beneath me."

"That's about as good an apology as I'll get out of Dimentio," said Mimi, in answer to the surprised look on Sherwood's face.

Gary looked up again. Although he was still making that strange noise, he didn't seem to be too agitated anymore.

"Can't you make him stop?" Mr. L asked. "That's kind of annoying."

"It's how he expresses stress," said Sherwood. "He can't help it."

"Ah, leave 'im alone," O'Chunks said, waving his hand. "'E's not odder'n the rest o' us. That's what makes us such puddin' pals, that we ain't exactly right for where we came from."

"Thank you, O'Chunks," said Count Bleck. "That was lovely. Now, since this is Sherwood and Gary's first day, I'd like to spend it getting them acquainted with our… particular style of…" He cleared his throat. "Nastasia, what's the best way to say this?"

"The Count wants you to get better at working with each other," said Nastasia. "So, um, we're going to spend today in 'Basic Training.' All of you… K?"

The four regulars groaned.

"Aw, c'mon, Count," whined Mimi. "I hate that stuff!"

"Yeh can't just squash me back down to the bottom!" said O'Chunks.

"It's quite an unpleasant affair, overall," said Dimentio.

"I don't know what they're talking about, but I don't like the sound of it," Mr. L added at the end.

Count Bleck held out his arms. "Now, look!" he said sternly. "You're all badly in need of shaping up, and the X-Nauts here are badly in need of orientation. Instead of killing two birds with one stone, would you rather sit in the meeting room and complain all day? Or, as a third option, would you rather Nastasia brainwash you into thinking you're a _competent_ group of minions?"

That shut them up quickly.

"Thank you," said Count Bleck. "Nastasia, take them to the training room."

"We had it converted into a recreation room two weeks ago," said Nastasia.

"Well, then, push the pool table into a corner and use it as the training room," said Count Bleck. "Sherwood, Gary, follow the rest of them and see if you can't get used to the castle layout on the way. I don't expect you to master it right away, but it would do you well to be able to find your way around as soon as possible. Is that understood, X-Nauts?"

"Gotchya, dude," said Sherwood. "Uh, I mean, Count Dude. I mean, Count Bleck, dude. I mean—."

"Close enough."

* * *

Castle Bleck, having an entire dimension to itself, was spacious and roomy. The "training room" had more floor space than a high school gymnasium, and a roof high enough that a rope climb to the ceiling would be a nightmare manifested into reality. Nastasia pulled some old training equipment from the storage room to the training room, including workout staples such as weights, bars, beams, and a sack of rubber balls.

The six minions stood in a line against the wall. Nastasia put on a silver whistle and stood in front of them. She held one of the red rubber playground balls in her hand.

"K, so, the Count says you're not performing at peak efficiency lately, and he wants you go through our basic training again with the new ones. Yeah, and we're not leaving this room until you've been whipped into shape to make the Count proud… K?"

Sherwood raised his hand. "Question!" he called out.

"Yeah?" Nastasia said.

"Is this going to be physically strenuous?" he asked? "I'm not really good at… moving. I mean, I'm in shape, you have to be if you're an X-Naut, but I'm actually not so good at—"

"There's a lot of moving in this organization," said Nastasia. "If you can't handle that, then it's best to bow out now. K?"

"Okay," said Sherwood. "We're good. Right Gary? … Yeah, we're good."

"Right," said Nastasia. "First I want you all to warm up. Take fifteen laps around the room, jogging, and then come back and line up here."

Mimi pointed at Dimentio, who was hanging in the air. "Is he gonna get to float around like he usually does?"

"No," said Nastasia. "Hey, Dimentio. Yeah, so, I'm gonna have to ask you to get down on the floor and use your legs for this exercise."

Mimi stuck out her tongue at Dimentio, and he gratefully returned the gesture. However, he had to obey, so he settled down on the ground and all seven of them took off at a brisk but reasonable pace around the room.

Fifteen laps later, it was way past warm-up. If you've ever been made to jog fifteen laps around the high school gymnasium, you might know how brutal it is to do when you're out of shape. Even O'Chunks, who spent a lot of time practicing his fighting, didn't have as much endurance as he had strength. By the last lap, they were exhausted, panting, and ready to call it a day. Nastasia, however, kept her outward appearance professional and undaunted.

"All right," she said. "Keep moving. Stretch out those limbs, K? We're all warmed up now, so let's get started on our first exercise."

Gary flopped forwards onto the ground and covered his face with his eyes. Sherwood looked down at him and nudged him with his foot.

"Um, is he okay?" asked Nastasia tentatively.

"Yeah," said Sherwood. "He's over stimulated and doesn't know what to do. At the old base he knew to go outside to this special place, but we haven't figured something out here." Sherwood knelt down and picked Gary up. "Come on, buddy, get up. It's time to work out."

Gary pulled himself out of Sherwood's arms and hissed. Sherwood jumped back. "Okay! Okay!" He looked up at Nastasia. "Look, why don't we move to the other side of the room? Gary will come join us when he's ready."

Nastasia adjusted her glasses. "Yeah, see, about that," she said. "We really can't just drop him out and keep going. We need to stay together on this. If Gary can't do it, then he can't--"

"No, no, Gary's done this before," Sherwood said quickly. "He does it differently, but he—"

"Come _on_!" Mimi whined. "I'm _tired_ and I want to finish! I don't want to stand around all day talking about the retarded guy!"

"Mimi!" Nastasia snapped. "That's enough. K?"

"Nevertheless, I am quite frustrated having to wait for this to be resolved," said Dimentio. "Perhaps we could come to an agreement quickly, so that I might be able to continue this dreadful exercise and get it _over_ with."

"Yeah, what he said." O'Chunks pointed his thumb at Dimentio.

"Very well," said Nastasia. "We'll move to the other side of the room. Sherwood, you can join us when you're both ready."

"Uh… okay," said Sherwood. "I mean, I can come right now and—"

"Yeah, I'm gonna need you to stay to the side until you're both ready," said Nastasia. "K? Super." She blew on the whistle. "Okay, let's move it!"

Sherwood leaned against the wall and slid down into a sit. Gary backed himself so he was sitting next to Sherwood.

"Great," said Sherwood. "We're already in trouble and we haven't even finished warming up on our first day." He gave Gary a pained look. "Why can't you just for _once_ not make things difficult?"

Gary hugged his feet to his body and looked down.

"I'm sorry," said Sherwood. "It's not your fault. I just thought that for _once_ we'd get a… yeah, that was pretty unrealistic of me, seeing as how you're… you." He rubbed Gary on the head. Gary flinched. "We'll make it work. We're X-Nauts. We're pals, and we're gonna make it work."

Gary jumped up.

"Let's go over there and show them what X-Nauts can do!"

* * *

_Although Sherwood isn't the name of the X-Naut form that hilarious "Sir Grodus, Dude" skit from TTYD, I saw an opening and couldn't resist recreating it._


	2. 5 dash 2

_I'm not sure how many characters in the Paper Mario series have been referred to as Gary- I know one of the X-Nauts was, and one of Bowser's minions in Super Paper Mario, and maybe more, I don't know. I like the names that are ordinary even in the Marioverse, which is why I chose the name 'Gary.' 'Sherwood' is the name of the hospital where I got my arthriscopic surgery and, subsequently, a stuffed lion from the hospital gift shop. I just really like saying 'Sherwood,' so when I had to pick another name it was in my mind._

* * *

EPISODE 5-2

Sherwood joined the group and stood to the side, trying hard to catch up. Gary stood next to him and a little behind. He was very nervous, and entirely unsure of what to do or even what exactly was going on. It was hard for him because he understood the words people were saying but not what they meant or even why they were saying it. He had to depend on his best friend. Gary would just watch what Sherwood was doing, and do the exact same thing.

"Okay, so," said Nastasia. "Yeah, it's time for our first exercise. We're going to practice coordination and teamwork. I'm going to toss this rubber ball to you, and you toss it to the person on your right. Got that?"

"Sure," said Mimi. "Super easy."

"But I'm going to keep adding balls as you go," Nastasia continued. "So, then, let's see how many we can handle. Get in a circle, K?"

All of them gathered in a circle, and Nastasia pulled a rubber ball from the bag behind her and tossed it across the circle to Mimi. Right away, Mimi turned to her left and tossed it to Dimentio. Dimentio, who wasn't expecting it, let it bounce off his face.

"Ha ha!" Mimi squealed. "You missed!"

The ball rolled across the circle to Nastasia and she picked it up. "Okay, Mimi, that was good. Yeah, but you're going to have to remember which side is your _right_ for next time. K?"

Mimi looked to her other side where Mr. L was standing. He gave her a little wave.

"Oops," Mimi mumbled. "Sorry, Dimentio."

Dimentio wiped his nose and laughed to himself.

"Right, let's start again." Nastasia threw the ball to Mimi, who right away tossed it next to her to Mr. L, who tossed it to O'Chunks, who tossed it to Nastaisa, who tossed it to Sherwood. Sherwood reached up to grab it, but his stubby arms and tiny hands weren't built for catching balls. It bounced off his hands and rolled across the room.

"Oops," said Sherwood. "I'll get it."

He scurried across the room, and after a few attempts, picked up the ball and carried it back to the circle.

"Okay," he said, "Should I toss it to Gary now or do we start again with Mimi?"

"Just toss it to Gary," said Nastaisa.

"Gotchya." Sherwood tossed it to Gary, who had the exact same problem Sherwood did- his arms were too stubby to properly grab the ball, and it bounced off his face and rolled across the ground. Just like his friend, he ran over to it, grabbed it, and brought it back.

"Good," said Sherwood. "Now toss it to Mimi."

Gary looked quizzically at the ball for a moment, and then heaved it in Mimi's general direction. It went three feet clear of her, to the back, and rolled across the ground.

"Maybe this isn't the best exercise for the X-Nauts," said Nastasia. "Yeah, let's try something else. Everybody pair up, we're going to practice how we fight."

Mimi grabbed Sherwood's hand. "Be my partner, Sherwood!" she squealed.

"Uh, okay," said Sherwood. He glanced at Gary. "You go with someone else, okay?"

Gary cringed and looked around- he had no idea what he was supposed to do. Sherwood thought for a minute, trying to figure out how to handle this. Mr. L, however, came to the rescue and stepped up to Gary.

"Come with me," he said in a friendly and clear voice. "I'll be your partner."

Gary gave Sherwood a worried look.

"It's fine," said Sherwood. "We're practicing fighting, right? You're going to go over there with Mr. L and just do what you normally do in a fight. Do you understand?"

Gary cringed again. Sherwood turned to Mr. L. "Give him a few minutes," said Sherwood. "He'll figure it out."

Mimi tugged on Sherwood's arm. "Come _on_," she said. "Let's go!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming," said Sherwood. "Chill out, will you?"

"Well, O'Chunks, old friend," said Dimentio. "I suppose that leaves you and me as a pair."

"Ah," O'Chunks grunted. "Just be keepin' yer magic to yerself an' don't pull any funny stuff, got it?"

"Why, I would never!" Dimentio said with mock shock. "I do everything with magic, of course, but I would _never_ pull any 'funny stuff.'"

Nastasia blew on her whistle again. "All right," she said. "Mimi and Sherwood, why don't you two go first? How are you going to do this, Mimi?"

"Like I always do!" Mimi said happily. She cracked her neck and let her head loll upside down. Sherwood gagged and covered his mouth with his hand. Then, when Mimi sprouted her spider legs, he almost threw up.

"Mimimimimimimi!" she called.

"Mm-hmm," said Nastaisa. "That's good. Sherwood, what are you going to do?"

"Uh…" Sherwood took a few steps back. Then he ran forward, swinging his arms, jumped up, and bumped her on the head. Mimi took a step back.

"Okay, that's good," said Nastasia. "Mimi, let's see what you can do."

Mimi spit a Rubee out and knocked Sherwood over. He pitched backwards and skidded three feet down the ground, clutching his face where he'd been hit.

"Oh, gosh!" Mimi yelped. "Are you okay?"

Sherwood started to stand up, but he fell back down again. "Yeah, I'm fine!" he said quickly. He stood up again, wavered on his feet, and fell down on his bottom.

Nastasia rushed up to him and helped him stand up. "Hey, uh, are you sure you're all right?" she asked.

"Yeah, yeah, sure," said Sherwood. "Fine I'm. I'm fine." He shook his head.

"I don't think 'e's got as much chunks as we do," said O'Chunks.

"You're right," said Dimentio. "He's a soldier, not a boss battle."

Sherwood rubbed his head. "Uh, this isn't quite… I'm really not sure what… doing?"

Gary toddled up to Sherwood and patted him on the back a few times.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Gary," said Sherwood. "Go back to Mr. L, okay?"

"Yeah, um, I don't think we should be doing this exercise with you guys," Nastasia said. "I don't think you're quite up to snuff in the battle department. I'm sure you have other good qualities, though, so don't worry… 'K?"

* * *

Well, they probably _did_ have other qualities… but what those qualities were, it seemed, were buried deep in secrets guarded by clumsiness and lack of ability. It wasn't so much that they were bad soldiers, because they had done wonderfully in the X-Naut army. However, there was something about them working in the castle that wasn't clicking, wasn't quite working out. It could have been any number of things- the change in scenery, the incompatibility with the minions, the different requirements Count Bleck had for his workers, or even Sherwood's preoccupation with Gary and Gary's inability to easily learn new things. But whatever the reason, the first day was typical of their training sessions. In fact, I'd say the first day went the smoothest.

After two weeks had passed, this was clear as glass to everyone in the castle. Nastasia took time to drill everybody through basic training activities- she had them run obstacle courses, perform exercise drills, and hone their fighting ability. She had them practice planning and executing mission strategies, working as a team, and fighting in groups. And every time, Sherwood lagged second to last by a long stretch, with Gary on his tail.

Finally, Nastasia couldn't keep it to herself anymore and approached Count Bleck in the evening after a particularly unproductive day.

"So, uh, Count," she said casually, "I have the reports from your minion's training."

"Wonderful, exclaimed Count Bleck! I'll look at them in the morning."

"Were you planning on sending them on another mission?" asked Nastasia?

"Soon," said Count Bleck. "I must be sure that the new ones are up to snuff… and the old ones as well. There are many things I would like to have them attend to, as soon as possible."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about," said Nastasia. "Yeah, it seems that the X-Nauts aren't exactly what we're looking for in the minion department."

"All creatures have value to Count Bleck," he countered confidently. "Perhaps in that way I've taken the opposite extreme… but I don't want to turn anybody away, not for any reason."

Nastasia blushed a little when she couldn't help saying, "You care deeply about everyone, don't you, Count?"

"I can't help it anymore," he said. "Deep down, I always did, even when it was covered by hurt. I've watched you all working hard, and the X-Nauts are trying so very, very hard. There will be _something_ they can do. Have you tested their tactical knowledge?"

"Yeah," said Nastasia. "And I'm gonna have to suggest that we not go onto the South Wing corridor for about a week or so until we finish hosing it down, 'K?"

"Eesh." Count Bleck shuddered. "Well, don't loose heart." He shook his head. "Just keep doing what you're doing, and leave all the finer details to Count Bleck."

* * *

Sherwood and Gary were having a similar conversation among themselves, in the room they were sharing. It was cozy enough, although two weeks is hardly long enough to make it seem like home. But it had beds, and shelves, and a nice rug on the floor, which is more than they needed.

Gary, though he didn't talk well to other people, had a way of communicating with Sherwood. It was the kind of communication you can only understand if you used it. Gary was not incapable of speech entirely, but he was unable to talk to people he wasn't comfortable with, out of sheer anxiety and lack of understanding. And more than anything, Sherwood was able to piece together his body language and sentence fragments into coherent thoughts. The conversation, for your benefit, is translated into what Sherwood heard, rather than what Gary said, and vice versa.

After training, the same day that Nastasia went to Bleck, they went back to their rooms. Sherwood flopped down on his bed and began taking notes of the days activities in his journal. Gary pulled himself on the bed and began to stack the pillows- two from each bed- then unstuck them. He was deep in thought.

Finally, he said to Sherwood, "I don't think this is going to work."

Sherwood rolled over onto his back and looked at Gary. "What makes you say that?"

"I don't know," said Gary. "It's been too long. We were better X-Nauts than this by this time, weren't we?"

"We're always learning," Sherwood replied. "Come on, this is a great new opportunity for us. Give it more time- maybe a whole month, then we'll talk again."

Gary shook his head. "No," he said. "We left the X-Nauts because we _weren't_ doing anything, and we're staying here where we _can't_ do anything. Maybe it's just me, and I think it might, but that doesn't make any sense to me."

Sherwood sighed. "No," he admitted. "It doesn't make any sense. I've been thinking the same thing."

Sherwood rolled back onto his tummy and finished writing in his journal. Gary didn't know why he did that, so he just stared at Sherwood until he finished, and turned back to the conversation.

"I've been thinking," Sherwood said at last. "Let's talk to Count Bleck. I think the best thing for us to do is to go back to Fahr Outpost… if they'll even take us back. We don't belong here, and I don't honestly think giving it more time will work."

"Thanks," said Gary. "It would make me feel better."

Sherwood shook his head. "I guess we just aren't really meant to be _anything_, are we?"


	3. 5 dash 3

EPISODE 5-3

"If you're certain that this is what you feel is best," said Count Bleck, "then I won't stop you."

Count Bleck, Gary, and Sherwood were walking down the corridors of Castle Bleck together, Sherwood on the right, Gary on the left, and the Count in the middle. Count Bleck strode casually, as if everything was perfectly normal and nothing was wrong. He did this to create a relaxed sense for the X-Nauts. He spoke casually, he moved casually, and he kept his tone of voice neutral and… casual.

It was driving Sherwood batty. He _knew_, deep down in his gut, that the Count had to be feeling more than he was letting on. Sherwood thought it could only be displeasure, or anger, or something strong like that. How could he say, after two weeks, that he was quitting, and not have his new boss be angry?

He had no way of knowing that the Count wasn't angry. Disappointed, yes, and a little saddened that it wasn't working out for the new minions. But if it wasn't working, than it wasn't working and there was no sense in forcing it. He himself had seen it in action, this not working, and he knew as well as anyone that it most likely _wasn't_ going to work. What could he do about it?

Gary, on the other hand, had no idea what was going on and kept his mind occupied by singing every song he knew in his head. Sometimes it paid to be Gary.

"Thanks for understanding, dude," said Sherwood. "I mean—"

"Should you ever choose to return to us," Count Bleck continued, "you will be welcomed back. I'm certain that something could be worked out. It still can, should you choose to change your minds before you leave. I'll have Nastasia write you a letter of recommendation."

"Nah," said Sherwood. "I mean, we already packed and everything…"

"Understood."

Count Bleck stopped at a door and opened it. This was the door to the recreation room, where his minions were blowing off steam after a particularly difficult week of training. O'Chunks was practicing his poses. Dimentio and Mimi were playing pool. Nastasia was reading. Nearby, Félicie was napping in a corner.

"Of course," Count Bleck continued, "we will not simply turn you out on your ears to drag yourself back to your station. I will be escorting you to the Grobfrostheim region. Along with Lady Timpani, and O'Chunks, and perhaps Dimentio, if he feels like it."

"No thank you," Dimentio called from the pool table.

"Very well," said Count Bleck. "We shall leave whenever you are ready."

* * *

Count Bleck teleported Sherwood, Gary, O'Chunks, and Tippi from Castle Bleck to Fahr Outpost, since it was the closest landmark to the X-Naut base. Count Bleck could teleport to a lot of different places, but only as long as he knew where it was he was teleporting. He had no idea where anything in this region was except for the Outpost.

Fahr Outpost was populated entirely by Bob-ombs, mostly ones that spoke with thick Russian accents. It was surrounded by cracked brick walls, some of them with barbed wire on the top. Their buildings were made of stone, and their roads were paved in bricks and pressed dirt. The whole area was cold and icy, with thick snow on the ground.

"Brrr," said Tippi. "It's freezing here."

"Yeah," said Sherwood. "It's pretty cold, but you get used to it."

"Which way to your base?" asked Count Bleck.

"See that mountain over there?" Sherwood pointed to a mountain in the distance, not too far away. "We're set up on the south side of it. It shouldn't be too far."

"Excuse," a nearby Bob-omb interrupted. "Did you just say you were going to Fahr Mountain?"

"Yeah," said Sherwood. "Why?"

"Dat is bad idea," said the Bob-omb. "Storms have been blasting mountainside for almost a month now. Is very, very dangerous to be going there."

"Storms?" Sherwood was puzzled. "But I lived there for months, and it was positively snug."

"What can I be saying?" the Bob-omb shrugged. "There are storms. Storms are dangerous."

Sherwood gasped. "Oh, no," he realized. "What about my pals? The others from the base?"

"If storms have not buried them, they will be trapped until they run out of provisions," said the Bob-omb.

"Oh," Sherwood said, wringing his hands. "Well… thank you."

"Da." The Bob-omb continued on.

Sherwood took a minute for the news of his friends to sink in. Then, meekly, he turned to Count Bleck and said, "I… I have nowhere to go… perhaps if I could get myself back to Grodus, he might give me a new position. I hate to ask, but could you take me to him?"

"Of course not," said Count Bleck.

"What?"

"We must go to your old base and see if your friends are still alive."

"Y… you would do that for me?" Sherwood said, touched.

"It is my responsibility to help all that I can," said Count Bleck. "How many X-Nauts were at your base?"

Gary counted on his fingers. "There was … Derek… Mark… John… and Jerry. And me and Gary, but you won't need to look for us."

"That is true."

"Well, what'r we waitin' fer?" O'Chunks thundered triumphantly. "I can't wait to put me chunks teh test against the forces o' nature isself! 'Sides, I hadn't said anythin' in a while, an' I wanted to make sure no one fergot about me."

"No one will forget about you, O'Chunks, assured Count Bleck. Now, if everybody's ready, I'm going to take us to the base of the mountain. Everybody, brace yourself for the storm. And stay close to Count Bleck!"

* * *

They reappeared seconds later, in the middle of a horrible snowstorm blasting the side of the mountain like a fire hose against a soup cracker (Hmm… maybe I _should_ have brought Dimentio.) There were three dome-shaped buildings placed near the base, in a sort of triangular pattern. The buildings had cables an antennas coming out of them, to keep the electronics inside working. They were half-buried in snow, but still visible.

"O'Chunks!" Count Bleck had to shout over the racket the wind was making. "Dig out the doors to one of those buildings and see if you can get the door open!"

"Aye, Count!" O'Chunks shouted back. He jumped high in the air and landed in front of one of the buildings. He used his enormous fists to scoop up gigantic clumps of snow, hurl them out of the way, and clear a spot in front of the door. He was faster than the storm, and succeeded at his task. Then he ripped the door open.

"After you, Count!" he called. Count Bleck grabbed Tippi, who was struggling against the wind, and made his way to the building. Sherwood and Gary struggled to keep up, and went in behind him. O'Chunks peered in to see if he needed to work on clearing one of the other buildings.

He did not, for they had lucked out and four X-Nauts were sitting in the middle of the room.

"Derek!" Sherwood cried happily. "Jerry! John! Mark! How are you guys?"

"Oh, pretty good, pretty good," said John casually. "How are you?"

Mark jumped up. "Sherwood, what are you doing here?"

Gary waved his arm in the air.

"Yes, I see you, Gary," said Mark.

"We decided that this is the only place we belong," Sherwood explained. "But I suppose that's not true, either. What's going on here?"

"It's awful," Jerry explained. "It was like, right after you guys left for Rogueport, this stuff started happening. We've been living off our rations, but we don't have that much left, and the storm hasn't shown any signs of letting up. We've been stuck inside totally for about a week and a half now."

"Yeah," added John, "and I _still_ haven't won a game of Tic-Tac-Toe yet."

"Count Bleck, can you get us all out of here?" begged Sherwood.

"I don't know," said Count Bleck. "I had a lot of trouble getting us to this place, because of the storm."

"It doesn't matter," said Mark. "Your tough guy dug us out, so we can finally get out of here. We'll walk back to the Outpost, I know we can do it."

"All right," said Count Bleck. "O'Chunks! Clear a ramp! We're escorting these X-Nauts back to the Outpost!"

"Aye, Count!" O'Chunks began to re-clear the entrance, which was already beginning to close up from the snow pelting them from the sky.

"Timpani," said Count Bleck, "Stay close to me. I fear you will be blown away in this storm."

"Don't worry," said Tippi. "I'll be fine."

Count Bleck gave her an affectionate squeeze, the best he could do for a hug, and then began to help the X-Nauts file out of the base. They were highly trained soldiers, and handled the evacuation most professionally.

But out in the snow, they faced a new challenge- X-Nauts were light, but they weren't light enough to walk in the snow! As soon as they began to walk, they began to sink. The snow was close to five feet deep in most places, and X-Nauts weren't tall enough to see over it. Plus, walking through thick snow was exhausting and there was no way they would be able to keep it up for the entire distance. Teleporting to Fahr Mountain was a snap, but walking would take most of the day under normal circumstances.

Count Bleck saw this right away, and he began searching for options.

"Timpani," he said, "could _you_ teleport us out of here?"

"I've tried," she whispered. "I can't manage it!"

"We need a sled or something. Snowshoes," Count Bleck was brainstorming out loud. "We'd have to leave and come back."

"The long way?" O'Chunks asked. "Count, I don't think the X-Nauts can wait any more. Maybe if they were still shut up inside, but that bird's already done an' flown."

Count Bleck looked back at the dome, which was now buried inside and out with snow. The other two were very inaccessible as well, and the storm was picking up. Could O'Chunks continue digging them out? Probably not, the Count realized grimly.

"You're right," said Count Bleck.

"Count, we could save ourselves, but the wee ones don't stand a chance." O'Chunks didn't look like he was posing that as an option- he looked distressed.

Sherwood sat down in the snow and buried his face in his arms. "I'm sorry, guys," he said. "I wish none of this happened."

Gary sat down next to Sherwood and put his arms around him, the way he was taught to comfort people he cared about.

"It's okay," said Derek. "It…it's okay."

A single tear fell from Sherwood's eye. He lifted up his goggles and let it drop down into the snow…


	4. 5 dash 4

EPISODE 5-4

"_Count, we could save ourselves, but the wee ones don't stand a chance." O'Chunks didn't look like he was posing that as an option- he looked distressed._

_Sherwood sat down in the snow and buried his face in his arms. "I'm sorry, guys," he said. "I wish none of this happened."_

_Gary sat down next to Sherwood and put his arms around him, the way he was taught to comfort people he cared about._

"_It's okay," said Derek. "It…it's okay."_

_A single tear fell from Sherwood's eye. He lifted up his goggles and let it drop down into the snow…_

The teardrop hit the X band on his uniform.

That wasn't the only thing that happened.

All of a sudden, he began to glow. It wasn't noticable to anyone at first, because it was faint against the storm. But in a matter of seconds he was glowing brightly against the snow, and Gary was as well.

"Wh- what's this?" Sherwood gasped in suprise.

Count Bleck shielded his eyes with his cape and looked at this must curious occurance. "Bleh huh?" he said.

"I'm sensing something," said Tippi. "It's been here all along, but it was so weak... it's something I haven't sensed in a while... it's..."

Gary started clicking excitedly.

"Dude, you're all glowy and stuff!" Mark exclaimed.

The storm directly around them receeded. The winds were less powerful, and the snow fell thinly. Then, in an exploison of light, a Pure Heart burst up from the snow.

"That's what it was!" Tippi said, relieved. "It was on the tip of my tongue! A Pure Heart, that's what it was. Pure Heart."

The Pure Heart hovered high above their heads, spreading it's aura of light all around it. Everything the aura touched was calmed, and the storm around it receeded. Already, the biting cold was going away and the stinging winds felt less harsh.

The heart made a great swoop around the entire base of the mountain, and came to rest above the heads of the group. All around them, the air was still and calm. The snow fell gently, like on a Christmas card. Count Bleck, Tippi, O'Chunks, Sherwood, Gary, Mark, Derek, John, and Jerry were left standing dumbfounded under the light of the Heart. The tranquility was almost eerie, compared to the maelstrom they'd been trapped in only moments earlier.

"Wow," said Derek. "You never told me you could do that."

"Uh... yeah," said Sherwood.

Gary stopped clicking and started rocking instead. He looked up at the Pure Heart, then down at the snow.

"I don't understand," said Count Bleck. "Timpani, do you have any idea?"

"This is usually where me and Mario would go to ask Merlon," said Tippi. "But I was thinking of something..." She fluttered down in front of Jerry. "Hey, um... how long have you guys been stationed here? Sherwood said something about right after Grodus fell?"

"Eh, not directly," said Jerry. "Few months, maybe. I don't wear a watch. Hey, any of you guys wear a watch?"

"No," the others said.

"Yeah," said Jerry. "There you go, we don't have watches."

"Count Bleck," said Tippi, "How long after the Cataclysm did you summon the Chaos Heart?"

Count Bleck began to count on his fingers.

"Doesn't anybody have a calander around here?" she shouted in frustration.

"Maybe it'd help if yeh told us what yeh was gettin' at," said O'Chunks. "Maybe it's 'cause me brain ain't up to snuff, but I ain't followin' ya."

"Look," said Tippi, "Remember when we went up against Dimentio?"

"No," said Count Bleck.

"When Mario and I went up against Dimentio?"

"Ah. Yes, I do."

"Well," said Tippi, "Dimentio thought that once the Pure Hearts were used once, that was it, but it wasn't. As long as there was love, the Pure Hearts were free."

"I'm with you so far."

"The Pure Hearts have been hidden away for the 1500 years since they were created, and after the battle, nobody's sure what happened to them." She paused to collect her thoughts. "Is it possible that they've just been... around?"

"They would have needed to be summoned by love," said Count Bleck.

"Right," said Tippi. "Sherwood's love for his friends and his old life, that he wanted back, wanted to save, more than anything. His heart is protecting this place."

"I don't believe it," Sherwood mumbled. "I just don't believe it."

"I don't, either," said Tippi, "but that's the best I could do."

"It was very good," said Merlon, and all of a sudden they saw him standing behind them. Everybody jerked in suprise.

"Merlon!" Count Bleck shouted. "What are you doing here?"

"I sensed a great power erupt in this region," Merlon explained. "And, from what I can tell, just in time. I came to investigate."

Count Bleck was still trying to catch his breath. "Well... why don't you tell somebody when you're going to do that?"

"Oh, I do apologize," said Merlon. "Now... I simply came here to tell you that the power of the Pure Hearts, in this sense, is completely uncharted. The Light Prognosticus is not revealing any more pages to me. Even the ancients didn't look this far in advance. Or, perhaps they didn't expect the Light Prognosticus to be able to counter the Dark Prophecy. Whatever the reason, the Pure Hearts are behaving in wonderus ways we could never have predicted."

"Didn't we discuss this the last time we met?" asked Count Bleck.

"No," said Merlon. "Or did we? I don't remember now."

"Me neither. Timpani, did we already discuss this?"

"I don't know," said Tippi, "I didn't hear it, but then I wasn't there for the first half of your meeting."

"Oh, right. Well, if we don't remember discussing it, then it's worth discussing again."

Merlon cleared his throat.

"Anyway," said Count Bleck.

"The Pure Hearts came here because they were both called and needed," said Merlon. "I don't know why, and I don't know how... I believe you're going to have to find that out for your--"

"The Prognosticus!" exclaimed Count Bleck. "We were talking more about the Prognosticus than the Pure Hearts, that's what it was."

Merlon tapped his foot.

"Continue," said Count Bleck.

"You're going to have to find out for yourself what this means," said Merlon. "I believe that your organization, with it's goals, will benefit from learning about the Pure Hearts. Bring peace to the world."

"I don't understand," said Sherwood. "What does this mean for me, and for us?"

"It means," said Merlon, "that you're protected. Because of the Pure Heart, you can live in this valley for as long as you're stationed here. The Pure Heart will move on, but the love it left here will never leave."

O'Chunks gagged.

Sherwood tugged on Count Bleck's cape. "Hey, uh, Count... I can't help but feel I was a small part in something bigger than I can understand."

"That may be," said Count Bleck. "But all you really need to understand is that this valley is yours, now. Whatever you're doing, you can continue to do it. What is it you're doing, anyway? Taking over the world, was it?"

"Not anymore," said Sherwood. "We're an accounting firm now."

"Huh."

"At least until he finds another scheme for world domination, I mean. Then it's back to that."

"Of course."

"Yeah."

"This is goodbye, now," said Count Bleck. "Sherwood, Gary, I thank you for what you've done for our organization. I can assure you, it's more than you could ever imgine you could have done for us. You've helped us greatly in our quest for Answers, though you did not intend to."

"Hey, Count," said O'Chunks. "Can we move this along, eh? Me feets gettin' cold standin' oot 'ere in the snow."

"Very well," said Count Bleck. "I hope we meet again, X-Nauts."

"Thanks for everything!" chirped Derek.

"Yeah, thanks a bunch!" seconded Jerry.

"Feel free to save our lives anytime," added Mark.

"Goodbye!" said John.

Sherwood gave Count Bleck a hug, which he gladly returned.

"Thanks," said Sherwood. "I don't understand what's going on, but I feel like nothing's wrong anymore. When I left here, and decided to come back, I felt like it was the last resort for us to live... but apparently I care about this place and these people more than I realized. It's not just stability I need- it's friends and a place that feels like home."

O'Chunks gagged again.

"O'Chunks, keep it to yourself," warned Count Bleck. "This might be a little sacchrine, but it's an important example for us to set for impressional minds."

Immediately, their attention was moved to Gary who was fidgeting with his hands and looking up.

"Yes," said Count Bleck. "I was most certainly referring to Gary."

The Count and his men disappeared back to Caslte Bleck, and Merlon left on his own. Now only the X-Nauts were left.

"So, what was it like there?" asked Mark, as they all headed back inside.

"It was all dark and stuff," said Sherwood. "It was all black with white windows. Real creepy, you know."

"Were all the guys as creepy as he was?"

"You bet!"

"Any cute girls?"

"Yeah, there was this real uptight girl who was all business-like and junk. She could be cute if she put her hair down and got a new outfit. There was also this green chick who turned into a daddy long leg. That was nasty, but she was pretty okay. Then there was this other girl who was dressed as a jester. She was messed up."

"Come on, tell us all about it!"

"Okay, so when Gary and I got there, it was just the uptight chick, right?... So she was all like, 'Yeah, um, so, this is Castle Bleck.' And I'm all, okay, yeah, so he's Count Bleck and this is Castle Bleck, makes sense..."

The voices of the X-Nauts faded as the door shut behind them, leaving them to start their lives again. All was well.


End file.
